A Letter to My Two Year Old

I love you. People told me that the love I felt for you when I first laid my eyes on you would only grow stronger. I didn't believe them but this is actually the case with each day that passes. It's a funny thing, this idea of love. How is it possible for your heart to grow bigger as time passes? What a miraculous phenomenon.

In a chaotic, sometimes disasterous, confusing world, I want you to know that I will guide you as best I know how. It won't be easy. Heck, sometimes I don't have enough energy at the end of the day to brush your teeth. But damnit, I still do it. It's for a good cause. It's for the best cause. It's for you.

I'll be honest, you make me tired. Actually, it's not you alone that makes me tired, it's the combination of work, commuting, maintaining a home, maintaining relationships, maintaining myself, and caring for you that tire me. Again, love is a strange thing because the above combination does not all sound appealing, yet this is the best time of my life, and you are the most astounding thing I've ever accomplished. Lately, I have noticed myself wishing the days away so that I can spend my weekends with you. I hate that. I want to soak in every day. The "rat race" of life makes that hard, but I'm willing to work on changing my attitude and perception of this for you. I'm working on so many things, mostly behind the scenes, and they're almost entirely for you, because of you. Thank you for motivating and pushing me in the best way possible, little guy. You sure are powerful.

It sounds so silly but you make me proud with how funny you are. Everyone who knows me, knows that I value and appreciate a good sense of humour. You make me proud with your language skills, and how well you can communicate and speak to us already. You make me proud when you independently do things and smile with accomplishment afterwards. You make me proud when you poop, for crying out loud. And when you ask for help and want me to hold your hand while squeezing, you manage to look so darn cute. How is that even a thing? Looking cute while pooping? That's some raw talent, son.

I want you to remember that no one else in this world is responsible for your happiness. You will make yourself happy if you love and respect yourself. Others will love you and be happy around you because of your aura.

Remember a few other things, ok? Never stop smiling. You can't be too serious. Have fun. Try your hardest. If you fail, crap: try again. Respect everyone. It is natural to encounter people that you don't care for, but you still must treat everyone with dignity. If you need advise about anything, call me (or text me, or do whatever people will be doing in a few years from now). If you ever need money, apply for jobs, or ask your dad (hehe), and heck, if you ever find a lady who makes you laugh uncontrollably and who makes you feel like never letting go, don't let her go. Don't play mind games, play board games.

Thank you for making me understand the word love and letting my heart experience the feeling that you give me day in and day out.

Together, let's rock this thing called life.

Love always and forever, until the end of eternity,

Mommy xo

I write a letter to Hudson on each of his birthdays and for every Christmas. I plan on giving them to him later in life so he can hear about our experiences together, how he makes me feel, and my wishes for him.

Do you ever write to your babies? If not, I encourage you to try it! How cool will it be for them to read when they're older? I mean, how else can we get them to understand even an ounce of the emotional love and connection they make us feel?

Your kids will thank me later,

Clarissa xo

{All photos taken by Jenny Edmunds Photography}